"Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes."
The Importance of High-Quality Conversations
As an executive coach for over 10 years, I’ve guided many managers and executives in developing strategies to navigate high-stress conversations with key stakeholders—clients, team members, senior executives, and even significant others. High-quality conversations matter, but high-stress situations can sabotage corporate communication.
A study by the Project Management Institute found that “poor communication derails important initiatives, wrecking morale and torpedoing 20% of projects.” Research by Dynamic Signal also revealed that “50% of employees report missing a significant company objective because of poor communication.” The impact of poor communication on business outcomes is undeniable.
The Science Behind Stress and Communication
How Stress Affects the Brain
High-stress situations trigger specific biochemical responses in the brain, leading to extreme reactions and poor communication. Every individual has specific sensitivities, known as triggers. Being “triggered” refers to the activation of the fight-or-flight response when the brain perceives potential danger. This often hijacks rational thinking and effective communication.
Identifying Personal Triggers
Craig Weber, author of Conversational Capacity and co-creator of the related workshop with Ken Blanchard Companies, advocates for self-reflection exercises to identify personal triggers. The idea is simple: you cannot address what you are not aware of.
While attending this workshop, I personally experienced a powerful self-reflection exercise that helped me pinpoint past and recent instances of extreme emotional reactions. This process allowed me to identify the aspects of stressful situations that triggered me beyond control. Following this, additional exercises helped me develop strategies to mitigate these responses.
The Role of Awareness in Effective Communication
How Stress Alters Communication
When stressed, individuals experience tunnel vision and make snap judgments. A certified counselor in our learning cohort shared a simple yet powerful tool to manage triggers in stressful moments:
Physically disengage – If possible, take a walk to remove yourself from the immediate sense of danger.
Controlled breathing – Take deep breaths, hold each one for a few seconds, and exhale slowly.
The Physiological Impact of Stress
The body’s natural response to stress includes:
Increased heart rate
Shallow breathing
Tensed muscles
Raised testosterone levels
Defensive or aggressive behavior
In this state, calm and objective communication is compromised. Disengaging and practicing deep breathing can slow the heart rate, restore clarity, and enable rational communication.
Strategies for Managing Stress in Communication
Practical Techniques for High-Stakes Situations
Not every situation allows for stepping away or practicing deep breathing exercises. However, I have coached executives on managing stress even during high-pressure moments, such as boardroom presentations. Effective techniques include:
Taking deep breaths before speaking
Curling toes inside shoes to release tension
Keeping hands relaxed rather than clenched
The Importance of Practice and Intentionality
While these steps are simple, applying them in the heat of the moment requires practice and intentionality. This is why the Conversational Capacity workshop is unique—it provides the time and space for participants to develop and refine strategies for real-world application.
Engage with Us
If you or your organization would benefit from exploring this material further, or if you have any questions about the workshop, reach out to us today. We offer in-person and virtual workshops for both public and in-house programs.
About the Author
Derek Ma is the Managing Partner for momenta Group, and is responsible for Ken Blanchard Singapore. Derek exists to maximise impact in every leader he engages through deep self-reflection and active growth. He is also founder and director of Hong Kong-based Meridian Learning, and Lead Consultant Asia for Waverley Learning (UK). Derek’s passion is to coach leaders for personal and professional breakthrough.